We Can't All be Alphas
by I'mNotGoodAtThis
Summary: Korra finds out in a very awkward doctor's appointment that she is, in fact, a Beta. Omegaverse Parody.


**AN: **Before I begin please let me stress that this is a parody. I'm not trying to make fun of anyone who reads or enjoys omegaverse content. The way I view kinks is, if it is between consenting adults then you do you, I'm not going to judge. If anything, this story is just kind of airing out some of the things I pondered about omegaverse when I first learned it was a thing. After a while, and a bit of...research, I decided to write this.

When I write stories I will always try to not offend anyone but please if you see anything that is offensive in this work, please reach out to me with your concerns and I will do my best to address the issue and edit the work.

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In the 20 years that Dr. Naomi has practiced medicine she never thought a patient would ask her this question.

"Where is my Dick?"

Dr. Naomi had received plenty of questions about 'dicks' in the past, but this was a new one. What's wrong with my dick? Easy answer she can provide her patients using her own knowledge or by referencing medical textbooks written by professionals more experienced in the field. Will my dick be okay? Depending on circumstances, she would be able to provide patients with a positive or negative answer. She has written countless prescriptions to patients to help them with dick problems. She even had two previous patients ask her dick questions this morning.

But **'Where?'**

This is a new one, even for her.

The doctor adjusted her glasses and looked down at her patient's file. "Korra it says here in your medical file that you are female, is that correct?"

Korra continued to pick at the paper sheet covering the examination table and shrugged her shoulders. "Well yeah, but..."

"Yes?"

"Shouldn't I have, like grown one by now?"

"I'm afraid I don't follow."

Korra ripped off a piece of the paper sheet and rolled it into a tiny ball. "Okay let me try again. You know how parents give them the talk about puberty and stuff? Well I didn't exactly get that type of talk due to all the Avatar training and stuff. So I will admit that I am not the most knowledgeable on the subject."

"Okay." Dr. Naomi put Korra's file down and pulled up a stool so she can sit across from her. "So you have questions about puberty?"

"No no, I figured that stuff out a long time ago. I'm talking about the second puberty."

"Second Puberty?"

"You know... when you find out if you are an Alpha or an Omega." It finally clicked for the doctor.

"I think I know what you are asking me now. You came here today because you want to know why you haven't presented as an Alpha yet?"

"YES, FINALLY!" Korra threw her hands up into the air. "Someone gets it! Am I just a late bloomer or something?"

"Well actually-"

"Because do you have any idea how it long I have been waiting to get a dick? Can you just imagine?! Being able to pee whenever I want?"

"Korra."

"Or helping Asami through her heat without nearly dying?"

"Kor-"

"Do you have any idea the lengths I go through to satisfy my girlfriend?! My jaw and wrists can't take anymore punishment!"

"Korra **please**."

"What?! I need new ways to top my girlfriend! This is important for me!"

"Korra you're a Beta."

Silence.

"I'm...I'm a what?"

Dr. Naomi placed a hand on Korra's shoulder. "I'm sorry Korra, I know being an Alpha is important to you but if you were actually an Alpha, you would have presented in your teens. Betas are actually very common, so there is nothing wrong with you."

"Oh God," Korra cried. "I'm a basic bitch! This can't be right! How can you tell I'm a Beta?"

"It's because you smell like one."

"Impossible! I'm just a late bloomer. I mean, look at me. I'm strong, dominant and- and I'm a top **dammit!** Betas can't be tops and everyone knows that."

"Korra I assure you betas are capable of having happy and healthy sex lives."

"But I won't grow a penis?" Dr. Naomi shook her head.

"Or have 30 minute long orgasms?"

"No."

"Or go into ruts that give me the capability to bone for 3 days straight?"

"I'm sorry Korra."

"WELL THAT SUCKS ALL KINDS OF ASS! Being a beta is not fun at all! You know what-, no- I don't believe you. I'm an Alpha and I need more proof than just the way I smell to you." Korra hopped off of the examination table and started pacing. "Is there a way you can like, test me or something?"

Dr. Naomi stood and walked to a cabinet over the sink. She could already feel a stress headache coming on and resisted the urge to pinch the bridge of her nose in frustration. The only reason why she did not end this appointment is because she made a promise to herself when she became a doctor she would always take every patient seriously. No matter how strange the request, a doctor who doesn't listen to their clients is a doctor who doesn't care about the well-being of their patients. "There is a test I can give you."

She grabbed a small glass vial and a cotton swab from the cabinet and turned around. "I'm going to pour some of this liquid on a swab and I want you to smell it." She held the piece of cotton up to Korra's nose. "Breathe through your nose and hold it in for a few seconds."

"Okay, now what?"

"How do you feel?"

Korra shrugged her shoulder."I dunno. Not really feeling anything right now. It kinda smelled like b.o., but nice, you know?l What is that anyways?"

"That," Dr. Naomi tossed the cotton swab in the trash. "was a vial of concentrated omega pheromones. The smell is supposed to simulate an omega in heat. If you were an Alpha you would have an erection right now."

"Aw man... I'm really not an Alpha?"

"I'm afraid not."

Korra looked down and held her chin in her hand, deep in thought. After a few seconds she looked up and asked, "What if I'm an omega?"

This time the doctor did pinch the bridge of her nose. "Well Korra, have you experienced any symptoms of a heat? Like a raised body temperature or a heightened sex drive that makes it difficult to accomplish the simplest tasks?"

"Well... no, but maybe I just haven't had my first heat yet? how often are you supposed to get them anyway?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, 'you don't know'? Does anyone know?"

"No, unfortunately," Dr. Naomi continued. "Decades of scientific study went into the research on Omega heats and scientists have only been able to come to one conclusion. Omega heats always happen at the most unexpected and inconvenient time for the Omega. There is no rhyme or reason to why it happens, it just does."

"Oh..."

"Anymore questions?" Korra thought for a second.

"Nope."

"All right then." Dr. Naomi picked up Korra's file and wrote down a few notes. "I think we are done for today. Before you leave, Can I just give you some advice. Not as your doctor but as one Beta to another?"

Korra nodded.

"It is not common for Omegas to date Betas, so based on this alone I can tell that your girlfriend really cares about you as a person, and not about whether you are an Alpha or not. You should talk to her if you want to mix things up in the bedroom. You may find something you both will enjoy. You don't have to have an Alpha involved to enjoy yourselves."

"Thanks Doc." Korra opened the door and walked out. A moment later her head popped through the doorway. "I'm gonna go home and bone my girlfriend now."

"Have fun Korra."

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**AN: **this was written in like 2 hours with no editing or a beta (heh) to slap some sense into me. no ragrets.


End file.
